Why I Want Your Questions Not Your Distance

Most people think surrogates are motivated by money. I’m here to tell you that’s wrong.

My name is Shawanda, and I’m from Anniston, Alabama. I decided to become a surrogate after watching my coworker struggle with infertility. We talked about surrogacy countless times, and something clicked for me.

Children bring so much joy into people’s lives. If my body and health allow it, I want to help families feel complete.

The excitement from everyone involved drives me. Every bit of joy and happiness this experience brings matters more than any paycheck.

What Being Chosen Really Means

Getting ready to be matched brings incredible excitement. Knowing someone will choose me to carry their child feels both trustworthy and honored.

I put myself in your shoes constantly. If I were the intended parent, I’d be thrilled to finally get everything I’ve dreamed of.

Research confirms that altruism and empathy are the primary motivations for surrogates, not financial gain. Women who become surrogates typically earn above average income and choose this path for prosocial reasons.

You should absolutely look for honesty, experience, trustworthiness, and good health in a surrogate. But there’s something deeper you need to understand.

Your Trusted Babysitter for Months

That’s how I see my role. I’m your caregiver, your trusted babysitter for months.

I’ll take care of myself by getting checkups not just for me, but for your baby. Our babies will always need us, and we need them too.

Parenthood is the best part of life. Kids bring you patience and guidance. You never stop caring for them. That care starts in the womb and continues forever.

I want you to feel like you’re carrying the baby. You need full access to me during this time.

The Communication You Think I Don’t Want

Here’s what might surprise you. I’m completely open to having a relationship with you during those months.

I want you to check in on your baby. Ask me questions. Stay engaged.

Studies show that communication frequency serves as a vital indicator of mutual investment in the surrogacy journey. When you give up control of your child’s development, you need that trust.

My biggest red flag? Someone not being excited. Not asking me questions would deeply concern me.

Silence worries me more than over-involvement.

The Question That Shows You Get It

Want to know what the perfect intended parents would ask me?

“Hi Shawanda, how are you and the baby feeling?”

That simple question shows you care about both our wellbeing. It tells me you understand we’re in this together.

Research on surrogate-parent partnerships confirms that compatibility in communication styles contributes significantly to positive experiences.

What This Journey Really Offers

I’m not just carrying your baby. I’m helping create the family you’ve dreamed of.

The trust you place in me feels sacred. The excitement we share makes every moment worthwhile.

This experience transforms everyone involved. Your joy becomes my joy. Your dreams become my purpose.

When you’re looking for a surrogate, don’t just check the practical boxes. Look for someone who understands the emotional weight of what we’re creating together.

Look for someone who wants your questions, not your distance.

Look for someone who sees this as the privilege it truly is.